Disclaimer: The following is about golf.
If I’ve learned anything from regaling tales from the golf course, is that it’s similar to showing off pictures of your cat: few people care and even fewer can feign interest (and no, your cat’s not different). If you find yourself in that latter group, that’s ok. My ego can handle it.
Usually these blogs are written with a target audience of anyone (I can get to read this drivel) and everyone (on the planet). Most every blogger wants to cast a wide net, so to speak. Our egos demand it.
Not today. Today is all about me and some much needed self-help tips that I can use to enjoy the game of golf more than I do now.
Any golfer will tell you that just one or two strokes can be the difference between eagerly making a tee time for next weekend or tossing your clubs in a nearby pond. For many years my scores ranged between 94 and 100 (give or take). More recently it has been around 92 to 97. My handicap has steadily dropped from just over 20 to its current 18.8.
One would think I would be happy with the improvement yet for some reason I am really not. At least not always.
So I came up with a list of things to do on the golf course that should not only help the scorecard but also my blood pressure.
Slow down
This does not mean emulating the senior ladies league that happens every Tuesday night at your local course. Even the typical, accepted, four-hour round is far, far, far too long. It means just what it says: slow, the fuck, down.
Two factors that dictate how fast I play: playing as a single and the 105-115 Arizona heat. A summer round often takes about two hours and 15 minutes. There is no doubt that an extra minute or two here and there to catch my breath, take a drink, perhaps allow my back pain to calm down, and plan the next shot would go a long way to better scores.
Do not hit through the trees
Oh sure. If I could hit the ball straight this would not be an issue yet multiple times per round I find myself calculating the odds of hitting the ball through a 5-foot wide opening between multiple trees when the reality is that I just missed a 50-yard wide fucking fairway.
Do not go for the hero shot; punch it back onto the fairway. There is no one to impress anyway.
Use the GPS
Considering my handicap, using (or not using) a range finder will not make or break the scorecard. However, the simple GPS found on many golf carts these days – or certainly on my Garmin S62 golf watch – can help.
The distance between the front of the green to the back – and perhaps flag placement – can be the difference in club choice and distance. The technology is there. Use it.
Straighter is better than farther
I am a big guy with some semi-big muscles. I should be knocking the fuck out of the ball. Or should I?
Obsessing with shot distance sometimes means being annoyed over a 190-yard drive right down the middle as opposed to a 225-yard drive in the left rough behind some timber. Remember: the approach shot often determines the success (or failure) of the hole.
Finally, relax and enjoy
Knowing that I am outside, enjoying the sun and playing golf should always trump being inside on the couch or behind a computer.
If I play well, all the better. If I have a bad day, that is ok too. Life is good, even if the golf is not always.
So there it is: five tips to a better golf game for me. If somehow you can gain any insight or improvement from that, then all the better. Otherwise, I think it might be time to print that list out, head down to whatever office-supply store is still in business and laminate it, then display those tips on the windshield of the golf cart each week.
