That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
– George Carlin
Quite often in my blogs, I’ll quote something from comedian George Carlin. He remains, hands down, my all-time favorite comedian and for good reason: the guy was frickin’ hilarious! He was topical, witty, and a master of language.
George Carlin and stupid people
I’ll never forget, unless I get Alzheimer’s I guess, those days when I read his book – “Brain Droppings” – during my lunch hour. I would literally find myself laughing out loud with tears running down my face while sitting by myself in a lunchroom with perhaps 50 other people looking at me.
Twice I saw him in concert and both times were great.
I’ll end this with a short clip of Carlin on stage; along with some of my favorite quotes…
- Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
- You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?
- “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
- Words you’ll never hear: Please stop sucking my dick or I’ll call the police!
George Carlin on white people. As he says: “What do white people have to be blue about? Banana Republic ran out of khakis??” (Note: Parental discretion is advised.)
Up next: D.
