As I’ve mentioned lately, I’ve really gotten into the Christmas spirit this year. Although maybe not to the extent of my neighbors who, combined, have strung up more lights and outside decorations that they could probably light the way for the landing of a 747 on our street. Still, I’ve been enjoying it.
Yet the other day I was listening to Frosty the Snowman – for the frickin’ umpteenth time – and thought to myself: “Something isn’t right with this song. Have people ever even thought about the lyrics?”
Well I have.
Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul
First off, when did ‘jolly’ become synonymous with ‘obese’. The guy has a weight problem and we’re going to celebrate it with song? It might be glandular for all we know.
With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made of coal.
Romney supporters would say this was a result of Obama’s failed energy policy. They’d say these two pieces of coal cost taxpayers $326,543 in stimulus money and failed to save a single job in the coal-mining industry. Those same supporters also wouldn’t acknowledge this song was recorded 11 years before Obama was even born.
Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale, they say.
Oh I don’t know. Technology can do a lot of things these days. There’s probably an app for that.
He was made of snow, but the children know how he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found.
Or from the PCP purchased from the 7th grader after school.
For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!
Frosty is the whitest guy I know so it had to be either the Macarena or the Electric Slide. Both songs popular at wedding receptions so that people who really can’t dance can at least say they tried.
Oh, Frosty, the Snowman, was alive as he could be;
and the children say he could laugh and play,
just the same as you and me.
Unless Frosty has a bad back and a bum-foot, he’s not the same as me that’s for sure. Although let him conquer the battleground at the Warrior Dash and then we’ll talk.
And it goes on from there: references to global warming, chasing little kids with a broomstick, disobeying traffic laws, anorexia…
(And for the record: I love Frosty. It’s a great song and a great show. So please don’t get all bent out of shape over this. Just click below and enjoy. Happy Birthday!)