Recently a friend of mine attempted to plant a bug in my ear about the upcoming Rangar Relay here in Arizona (scheduled for November 1-2, 2019). Honestly, I’m not all that familiar with Rangar myself except that it’s something like a 100+ mile relay done by teams of 8-10 people. My immediate response was a polite and courteous “Thanks but no thanks.”
Though my actual response might also have been something along the lines of: “Let’s see if I have this straight: Eleven days after Tough Mudder, you want me to do a two-day relay covering 100+ miles with – according to the website – extreme hills? Oh hell no!”
Turns out, according to world wide web, the Arizona Rangar Relay will consist of teams of eight, covering 123+ miles, lasting two days and one night, where each runner is responsible for running three legs of 4.1 miles, 4.7 miles and 6.6 miles. (Did I mention “Oh hell no!”??)
First off, I am not a runner. There have been MAYBE five or six times in my life where I’ve run at least 3.1 miles consecutively with no stopping or walk breaks of any kind. Yeah, I occasionally toot my own horn with talks of 4 or 8 miles Spartan races, but the reality is I split time between walking and the stereotypical fat-guy-slow-jog.
Besides, straight running is boring as hell. It doesn’t matter what music is playing in your earbuds or how pretty the scenery is or who the company might be. Running is a straight up mental mind-fuck.
Secondly, gravity is not my friend. I hate hills, rolling hills, knolls, inclines, mountains, stairs and street-side curbs.
Finally, it would be like a death blow to my hyper-competitive male ego to be the proverbial weak link on a team. In some ways I would be like famed opera singer Enrico Palazzo who once boasted in the movie The Naked Gun that “I do not wait for them, they wait for me!” Only that it would be my teammates who would be forced to continually wait for me and for far too long.
Yet – YET – I’m not dismissing the idea outright. Yes running sucks. Yes I hate extreme hills. Yes my back and knees would revolt to the likes of which I’m sure I’ve never felt before. But a 2-day camping trip in the Arizona desert with thousands of people, a few cold beers, campfires and comradery just sounds like a lifelong memory too good not to consider.
I had mentally set a goal to participate in an 8-hour Toughest Mudder in 2020 – which is a regular Tough Mudder ran for 8-hours where participants try to accumulate as many miles as possible. Turns out, however, the race is now 12-hours and there’s no guarantee it’ll even be a thing in 2020.
Which, maybe, sort of, perhaps leaves the door open for a Rangar Relay. I’d still have a year to get more (or less) prepared for it and, AND, it wouldn’t be 11-days after the Vegas Tough Mudder.
Though I now imagine myself in Vegas standing at the Craps table, shaking the dice and saying: “C’mon, daddy needs a new pair of shoes… and to lose some weight, get into shape and eat healthier!”